We are at a crossroads - we're out of money for IVF, which means that we won't ever have children. That's a huge pill to swallow and I don't know how to accept that.
I am wondering if it's time to end this blog - I don't have much to say except angry rants and I don't want to be like that. I guess I'll think on it.
I really appreciate everyone's support! You are wonderful friends.
Friday, September 19, 2008
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Torture
Well, I've been in exile, on a vigil, on hiatus - I don't know what to write other than I'm waiting and scared and it's torture. I just want to bury my head in the sand and come out some time in the future (far in the future). I feel kind of like a toddler, I want to throw myself on the ground, roll around screaming, and violently thrust my arms and legs into the air (although I haven't actually done this for fear of shaking loose any possible baby). I'm actually getting tired of being around myself because I've been such a downer.
I can't muster the energy to take and post a picture of Rufus' deflated scrotum (his "after" shot). It's deflating, but quite saggy.
It was great having my sister and brother-in-law here for a visit. Justin is home this weekend and providing lots of TLC.
Official thanks to Amy for taking me to get knocked up! (And to the US Govt for giving her the cushy schedule to be at my beck and call).
And thanks to Stephanie, my personal, free tech support! She sure does know a lot about stuff you never knew you needed to know about. And she helps me realize I'm not as crazy as I thought.
So, off to do some more waiting, tick tock, tick tock. And while I'm waiting, maybe I'll go pull my hangnails with tweezers, rub salt in my eye, pull hairs out of my nose, give myself papercuts in between my toes, or slam my finger in the door - just to add to the experience. And I'll try not to be so uplifting next time.
I can't muster the energy to take and post a picture of Rufus' deflated scrotum (his "after" shot). It's deflating, but quite saggy.
It was great having my sister and brother-in-law here for a visit. Justin is home this weekend and providing lots of TLC.
Official thanks to Amy for taking me to get knocked up! (And to the US Govt for giving her the cushy schedule to be at my beck and call).
And thanks to Stephanie, my personal, free tech support! She sure does know a lot about stuff you never knew you needed to know about. And she helps me realize I'm not as crazy as I thought.
So, off to do some more waiting, tick tock, tick tock. And while I'm waiting, maybe I'll go pull my hangnails with tweezers, rub salt in my eye, pull hairs out of my nose, give myself papercuts in between my toes, or slam my finger in the door - just to add to the experience. And I'll try not to be so uplifting next time.
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