So far I'm doing okay. I'm pretty positive most of the time (I do a lot of spontaneous smiling and I say Wow a lot). But every now and then I have some crazy, irrational thoughts/fears. Last night I realized my breasts aren't sore anymore and immediately thought that must mean something is wrong. It's just amazing how these bad thoughts come out of nowhere and bam knock you up side the head. I know I will have to struggle with fears on and off if this pregnancy makes it for the long haul.
I've also found myself thinking about my Dad a lot (he died a week and a half after we lost our baby) and I wish he could be here for this incredible miracle.
Justin takes his finals this coming week and then leaves one week later for 5 weeks in Australia/Fiji. I was laughing with him this morning about all the things I'm going to do while he's gone (the mouse will play while the cat's away).
I'm trying to teach Rufus (aka Hellcat) not to jump on my belly. Other than trying to make the next 33 weeks fly by, that's all that's happening.
About Me
My Man, Justin
Go Dawgs
Max
Rufus aka Hellcat
Huckleberry Hound Dog
One of my favorite pictures
Me and a tree in Spain
4 comments:
Those thoughts are 100% normal. I had a whole weeks worth of posts dedicated to feeling those pregnancy symptoms and then not feeling them. Once the symptoms came back my post was titled "Yay, I feel like shit again". So, don't beat yourself up. I have a 5 week old baby and still have those thoughts. Stay strong...it'll feel like forever but be here before you know it;o>
Hi Candy. Thanks for your post and the encouragement. I went back and read your posts around the time you were talking about and it was like you could have been writing about me. I feel so much better after reading them. I'm sorry about your twin.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing your story! You've really helped
Well, lets be honest, any mother who has been through a pregnancy loss gets good at "the poke". You know, the boob poke. At home you can poke the regular way. When you are at work, you can sometimes give a full blown poke but sometimes have to do the sneak poke. Of course, at the mall or another public place, you have to do the sneak poke all the time. The cross your arms and give a hidden poke poke. I started to then wonder if my boobs hurt because of the pregnancy or if they hurt because I was squeezing and poking them so much.
The symptoms do come and go, and everyone else can tell you that over and over, but you will still worry and over analyze.
Of course, congrats on twins!!! 33 weeks left to go! One day at a time.
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