I'm back

I'm feeling like I'm back amongst the living, kind of, mostly.
Now I'm just trying to figure out what's next, lots of hard decisions. I need to win the lottery, rob a bank, become wealthy overnight - I'm holding out for riches, or at least dreaming of the possibilities.
I think The Foot problem is growing back and I'm going to need another laser procedure. But at least it will be a smaller affair. And thank goodness for healthcare in the good old US of A.
Rufus goes back to the vet Monday and hopefully will be cleared of heart worms and will come off lock down - so he will be able to run free in the yard.
Justin and I are like newlyweds - actually living together! Heaven!
We had a great time at my sisters over the holiday weekend.
I hope you are doing your best to live well - make the most of all our moments!

Thanks for your support

Dear family and friends:
I found out today that my pregnancy test was negative. I am very grateful for your love and support. Unfortunately, an unhappy ending.
This weekend, I am off to my sister's house (my mom and brother & family will be there) in Missouri for a big party to celebrate her 2nd masters degree and her 40th birthday.
I'll try to write more later.
Love, Sandra

Being a lady of leisure is hard

I'm still at home trying to be still . . . I painted my toenails, took a nap, did work stuff throughout the day, and I'm watching Oprah. Here's a link to the best turkey burger she's ever had (at a Donald Trump restaurant). http://www.oprah.com/foodhome/food/recipes/200805/food_20080516_burger.jhtml

Joke of the day:
A man and his wife were making their first doctor visit prior to the birth of their first child. After everything checked out, the doctor took a small stamp and stamped the wife's stomach with indelible ink.The couple was curious about what the stamp was for, so when they got home, the husband dug out his magnifying glass to try to see what it was. In very tiny letters, the stamp said, "When you can read this, come back and see me."
Have a great weekend!

At home with my legs up in the air

Because I'm still spotting, this morning my doctor told me to get off my feet, so I've been at home . . .. laying still. I would probably go crazy if I had to do this all the time, but Max and Rufus are happy.
Joke of the day:
A married couple went to the hospital together to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it.
The doctor set the knob to 10 percent for starters, explaining that even 10 percent was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before.
But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine, so he asked the doctor to go ahead and bump it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20 percent pain transfer.
The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and pulse and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this, they decided to try for 50 percent. The husband continued to feel quite well.
Since it was obviously helping out his wife considerably, he encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic.
When they got home, the mailman was dead on their porch.

Nerves, Recipes, Food, and Pregnant Jokes

Whoa - I've been spotting since last evening and I'm scared to death. I don't know whether to be hopeful, guarded . . . eeek!
I'd love to have another smokin' ribeye like the one Justin grilled the other night. The grillmaster is grilling chicken at this moment.
I charge Dallas, Amy, my sister, my brother, and my mom to get busy and post some good recipes.

Jokes of the day:
Q: Under what circumstances can sex at the end of pregnancy bring on labor?
A: When the sex is between your husband and another woman.

When choosing a name for your baby, go to the back door and shout it out a few times.

Another day down

Joke of the day:
Brenda, pregnant with her first child, was paying a visit to her obstetrician's office. When the exam was over, she shyly began, "My husband wants me to ask you if its still okay..." "I know, I know." the doctor said, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder, "I get asked that all the time. Sex is fine until late in the pregnancy." "No, that's not it at all," Brenda confessed. "He wants to know if I can still mow the lawn."

And we wait

Well, what am I doing? . . . waiting.
Joke of the day:
An American man is riding a train in a European country. His seatmate knows some English, and they end up chatting. The seatmate asks if the American has children. The American says no."Ah, so sad," says the European. "Your wife, she is impregnable?" "Well, um, that's not exactly the word," says the American. "Oh!" interrupts the European. "I mean, she is inconceivable?" "Um, not quite --" the American begins, only to be interrupted again. "Oh, no, that isn't right," says the European. "She is, what is it, she is unbearable?" "Well, actually, that pretty much sums it up," says the American.

2 frozen Gardners

We had 2 blastocysts make it to be able to freeze.
They are going to put me on a blood thinner, Arixtra, injectable once a day. Retail price for 30 days is $1335 - but a great big thank you to health insurance and United Healthcare for a $35/mo copay! I'm beginning to feel good about those premiums. Yippee!
I'm not sure what I'll write from now until the pregnancy test other than I'm nervous . . . and waiting . . . nervous . . . and waiting, etc. - but I'll try to think of something entertaining, maybe learn some jokes.
Have a great week!

1 baby Sandra and 1 baby Justin

The transfer was "text book." This picture shows 2 blastocysts - 1 A+ (on the left), which is about 120+ cells and an AB (on the right), which is about 40-60 cells. So, we wait for them to hatch (in a day or two) and attach to the lining of the uterus.

I still have 6 embryos left and probably 4 of them will be good enough to freeze. They will decide that later today or tomorrow.

We are waiting for my ivf doc and the hematologist to confer and decide what to do about the other issues.

The only other thing is to wait until the pregnancy test. Holy cow how nerve wracking! I'm not going to tell when I'll have the pregnancy test, so you'll just have to be patient for the news.

I forgot to update you on Rufus - he was very sick for 2 days but came home yesterday and is obviously feeling much better. We will keep him in the house for a month (he won't like that) and then he should be all healed.

Thank you so much for all your love, support, good wishes, encouragement, and friendship. Thanks for journeying with me!

8 embryos!

Wow, what a day. Justin and I were on our way to Atl for the transfer this morning and the nurse called to say the embryologist thought we should let the embryos develop to day 5. After a lot of confusion and discussion, we met with the embryologist and the doctor and decided to wait until day 5 to transfer. Today, all 8 embryos looked great. The embryologist estimated we'd have 50% embryos make it until Thursday. By waiting until the blastocyst stage, they can pick the embryos that look better (are of a genetically better makeup) and more likely to make a baby. They probably will recommend putting back 2 (instead of 3) since they will be of better quality.
Won't it be wild, if we have a child, to explain to them how their first 5 days of life were spent in a laboratory?
My lab results came back and there are some problems with 3 areas (thyroid antibodies, von willebrand factor, and fibronogen) so they will likely put me on a blood thinner during the pregnancy. We hope to conference with the hematologist in Thursday.
I'm beginning to feel like a human science experiment.
Rufus is not feeling well and is still in the hospital. Hopefully, he will come home tomorrow.
Go hug your loved one - and tell them how glad you are to have them!

You can do it little baby(ies) Gardner!!

It's official - we will transfer embryos tomorrow. We have to be in Atlanta at 9:30. I have to drink 40 oz of water beginning at 8am so that my bladder is full when they transfer. I hope to get a picture of the embryos to post here. Tomorrow, we will also find out the results of the other embryos (how many we will have to freeze) and hopefully the results of hematology tests.
Tonight at dinner Amy and Troy decided we should have all 8 babies - all at once. They said: Justin and Sandra plus 8 - ha, ha, ha. Then Justin said, no it will be: Sandra plus 8. That's just downright crazy.
We have a serious dog situation. Rufus went for his annual exam today and we learned he has heartworms. They say he must have had them last year (when we got him as a stray) but they weren't far enough along to show up on the test. Since we've been giving him heartworm medicine monthly, it's kept the situation at bay but they will aggressively treat now to kill them all for good. They gave/will give him 2 shots and keep him for 24 hours at the vet. They say the shots are rough. I visited him this afternoon and it was very evident he didn't feel well. Poor Rufus!
When Justin gave me my shot tonight (with Amy in observance) he hit a blood vessel - that's the first time it's ever happened. You have to pull the needle out and start over.
We are glad Amy is recovering nicely from her calamitous fall and ensuing plastic surgery. And Congratulations for finishing her MBA this week!! Go Amy!
I'll update you tomorrow on the little baby Gardners.

Better than 50%

Here's the latest stats - 14 of the 20 eggs were mature, 8 of the 14 fertilized. So those 8 embryos are now incubating and hopefully will progress to the 7 or 8 cell stage. They have to be at least 7 or 8 cells to transfer and/or freeze. Transfer will be Tuesday or Thursday. They will look at the embryos Tuesday morning and decide to transfer then (I think most transfers happen at day 3) or to wait until blastocyst stage and transfer on Thursday (day 5).
Justin gave me the first progesterone shot (with the big needle). I could feel it going into the muscle but it was pretty smooth and pain free.
I'll keep you posted. Thanks for your good thoughts and well wishes!

20

That's how many eggs they got (13 last IVF). 20 marvelous little baby Sandras. Everything with the retrieval went well. They will call tomorrow and let us know how many fertilized, how they are doing, etc. Justin and I went to breakfast (at lunch time) with Mary Dell and now are at home - rain, laying around, loving Max and Rufus, movies, and snoozing.
Tomorrow they will let us know whether the transfer will be Tuesday or Thursday.
Thanks to my prep nurse, Anna, and my recovery nurse (pictured here) whose name I don't know because I was out of it.
Have a great weekend!

And the winner is . . .

Cynthia! Same amount of follicles as yesterday (13 on the right and 11 on the left) only they are bigger. My ovaries are so full that they are touching/meeting in the middle. Holy cow. My estradiol is 2893 - wow. Amy - I appreciate your confidence in me being able to produce 70.
I got the go ahead this afternoon to "trigger" which means I took a shot of hcg (the pregnancy hormone) at precisely 9pm this evening (with Rebecca and Jennifer in observance) to tell my ovaries to get ready to release the eggs. I have Friday off - no Atlanta, no meds, totally free. I have to be in Atlanta Saturday morning at 7:30am and my retrieval will be at 9am. They will sedate me and take all the eggs out. My doctor is actually on call and will do the procedure. I don't think the procedure will take long. I will start daily progesterone injections (that's the big needle, in the butt muscle) and baby aspirin the day after egg retrieval.
My visit with the hematologist, Dr. Alexander "Sandy" Duncan, at Emory today was absolutely amazing. He was personable, attentive, knowledgeable - quite lovely (he's Scottish, they say lovely, I think). and very refreshing. He ordered a bunch of labwork - 12 vials of blood. If there are concerns, they will put me on a blood thinner while I'm pregnant. I can't tell you everything he said because this is a PG (PG-13?) blog - but he was hilarious talking about baby making.
Justin comes home from school tomorrow for the whole summer. We won't know what to do actually living together all the time. We'll be like newlyweds . . . awww.
So keep your fingers crossed that body parts, nature, technology, human skill and everything else comes together to make some good Gardner embryos!